This Is It?

This is everything I've been working for? This is what it comes down to? These past two weeks were just so cool. I really thought that things were getting better and we were starting to become closer. And now you pull this on me?! What is your deal? Seriously, I don't even know what to believe anymore. I don't know if you'll ever change. We were fine, and yesterday you don't even say ONE word to me? Not even a hi, or a wave or even a mere smile? What is it, back to before again? And I hate to go back to before, but you're just never going to change are you? And I have no idea why I still hold onto you because you're just so freaking pathetic. But I do, because I care. Because I love you, and sometimes I feel like I can do this. I don't need you in my life, and then you pop back into my life! And you make me want you all over again. Can you just stop fcking toying with my mind?! It's really hard to keep up with you. Everytime you leave and then you come back, knowing that I'll take you back. I really do hate you sometimes, I really do. I wish you'd know how I feel. & Sometimes I wish that your new girl will just break your heart into a million pieces and and then step on it and spit on it, just like you did to mine. Then I come back to reality and I remember that I still have a heart and I would hate for you to go through what I have to go through, cause it just sucks so much. To wake up and think of you, to see something so immaculate and irrelevant and just think of you. It sucks to have so much of you in my mind & my heart. But why should I feel sorry for the person that caused this feeling upon me? You seem to know exactly when I'm over you, and you think to yourself 'Hey, Celina's over me! Let's mess with her again' Yeah, I bet you do. Cause you come back into my life, and I have my guard's up for a week and you take them down and then you fire at me. Well I'm tired of this, and I hate going through it, over and over and fcking over again.

"I wonder, when you find a new girl. Or, if you already have, if you ever think about me. If you ever do the stuff you've done with me to her. Like when you used to call me in the morning just to say you loved me. Or tell me I looked beautiful when I wear sweats and a big t-shirt. Does she smile at you the way I do? Or laugh in the cute way I would always laugh for you just cause you thought it was cute. Or use my baby voice! Hm, I don't wish to know.. If she's better. Cause that would just kill me." -Me, 3 months ago.
Well, y'know what? I don't fcking care about you and that slut anymore.