Closer To Your Eyes

I feel like something is happening to me.. something reallyreally huge, like I'm changing. Which is really weird, because whenever I change, I NEVER know I'm changing until like a year later and I look back and it's like, omg I can't believe I was that person. I think God is trying to tell me something, but I don't know what. Gah, I hate not knowing :( But I love how He knows! Mm, have you ever had the feeling that like something is missing? But you don't know what? But without it, you just feel so incomplete.. Yeah, I feel exactly like that. Except I have a feeling of what I'm missing.. but I don't know how to achieve it. I know that I've been slacking this weekend, I didn't do any of my euro homework so I was behind, so I amped up today and gave it my 110% and finished a whole group of euro, group #4 too! The largest group, 8 identifications and 13 questions, gah. I feel accomplished [= But anyways, this school year.. I really want to prove to not only myself, but my family and to anybody who has ever doubted me that I wasn't good enough or smart enough. Or to anybody who has compared me to my cousins that get better grades than me. And to do it all for God, to get an education so that in the future when I do more for Him, I'll be adequate to do the job. There was this special speaker at my church on Friday, and she was talking about how in China it was like illegal to be a Christian, or to be a full Christian and believe that Jesus is coming back. That whomever believed that Jesus is coming back, they were heretics and could be persecuted. While she was speaking, she mentioned that she was a hardworker and in my mind, I was like dang! How could she be so devoted to God and spend so much time with Him, yet still remain in University (in China it's a lot harder than here). So I asked her, and she told me that it wasn't easy.. That she even got kicked out of her college! She prayed and prayed and asked God for a second chance, that she will try harder and balance her time management, after a long time of praying, He finally answered her prayers. She got into a better college and I think she graduated from there? She didn't say anything, but I'm assuming. But that really stood out to me, because little old me, always saying there's no time. But there is. There's 24 hours a day, all day, everyday. And I used to think that spending time with God was sitting down, one on one, but no, it's not. You can spend time with God while you're doing homework! As long as you're doing it for Him. (I learned that on Friday too, hehe :) Well anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say, if it even makes any sense, is that there's 24 hours a day. Make the best out of it, and manage your time wisely and most importantly, 24 hours out of those 24 hours, should be devoted to God, and all for Him!