I Was On Your Side

I was on your side the whole time, you had me right there.. and then you give me a reason NOT to fight for you. How could you?! The ONE moment she REALLY needs you, you bail. You leave her. YOU DID THIS TO HER! I really wish so much anger upon you!!!!!!!!!! UGH, but I know that God said to love your enemies. But boy, I wanna slap you across the face so badly. You did this to her and now you're not even going to be there to support her?! To tell her it's okay. You were always so sweet to her, I could tell the way you looked at her that you could see beauty in her and that she was something different. You were different for her! I was fighting for you.. I really was. And you blew it. This just shows that you can't even own up to what you've done! She was such a precious jewel and then you came along and you SHATTERED her image. And I've always been there for her, and I still will be, but you.. you WON'T. You're only as good as the hearts you break, and you've proven to me that you're no longer worth fighting for. I just really hope that whatever happens, you'll still be apart of her life. She needs you more then ever right now.. I hope you're reading this because what you did to her not only shattered her heart, but it ruined her future.

As for you and me, I really don't want to be here for you. I don't wanna see you, EVER again! I don't even want you to talk to me or anything. That's what I want.. but I'm not gonna do that. If you need me, I'm here. I know this is a huge shock for you, and it is for me and her!! But you can't just leave.. This is both of you guys, you two chose to be in this together. I know you're not married and you never said those vows to take her for rich or for poor, in sickness or in health, but you told her you loved her.. and she believed you. You have to have meant it... six months for nothing?! I mean come on.. If you bailed because you're scared, HELLOOOOO! We're ALL scared.. But just stay, please.. I can't be there for her alone, she needs you and I need you and you need her. How are you gonna live with this regret for the rest of your life..? Just, please.

Why can guys say 'I love you' as if it has no meaning behind it? You guys never mean what you say and you blame us for having a hard time to believe. You tell us you love us and then you leave. Why?! What did we do wrong..? Seriously, is it just programmed into guys that when you say you love us, you have to leave after? And for us! We know you're gonna leave, yet we STILL believe you! Why are we so foolish? This is such a reality check for me. And I wonder why I never love nobody fully and why I always have one foot on the ground. Because it breaks my heart to know that this is the outcome, because I don't think God intended for it to just spill out unintentionally. Not even knowing you're saying it but the person you're saying it to believes you and you don't even realize what you've created. "I love you" is probably the most frequent phrase used, by half the time people never mean it... Now I know why I have such a hard time letting people in and cannon-balling in.. I wanted to hop over the fence so badly.. but this just makes me even more scared. I have no idea what or who to believe anymore.