You always tell me that I'm always on the fence and such. Well, I've come to a conclusion. I wanna get off the fence. I'm sick of being in my comfort zone all the time. I'm sick of being on the safe side. Love is risky, God risked it all for us and He knew we were going to fall, yet He still took a chance on us. That just shows me that I can't always play on the safe side, I can't always have one foot on the ground. I needa just cannonball in. I'm so tired of this, I've always been so dubious with this but I'm done playing this game. I'm just ready to dive in instead of dipping my toes and then backing out. Life is not meant to be lived cowardly, I know once I dive in things will be so much clearer.. I just hope that God will give me the strength and courage to take the initiative step.
I've always been in control of my life and I think that's one of my problems, that I'm not open to change because change is never in my control. It just happens.. That's probably why I hate it so much. I always have these 4 walls that nobody can ever get through. So nobody will ever really know me... except snuffs of course. I never let people in or love nobody fully because they always leave. Nobody ever stays.. I mean even my parents, they divorced. How can someone who could have been so in love with each other and promise to stay together through sickness and in health, rich or poor.. separate. How can you tell me we were forever when you didn't mean it? You said you loved me, and you told me I was great. You told me you believed in me and you'd wait however long it took to stay with me. But you didn't mean it, because you're gone. For every person that's ever hurt me, it's another block added to my wall.
I'm strong enough, I've always told myself
I never want to need somebody else
But I've already fallen from that hill,
So I'm dropping my guard here's your chance at my heart
Oh no, my walls are gonna break
So close, its more than I can take
I'm so tired of turning and running away
When love just isn't safe
It's not everything you want, but it's everything you need
It's not always happy endings but it's all the in between
It's taken so long, so long to finally see
That Your love is worth the risk
1 comment:
=)
"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its decietful desires, to be made NEW in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." -Ephesians 4:22-24
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