I think I completely, almost utterly, just screwed up my entire friendship with you in less than 2 hours. Why is it that I still feel like things aren't going to be the same..? I should have never even brought it up; all because of him. He's not nearly as important as you are in my life. He's just a mere silly crush that I have but you, you're one of my bestfriends. (Well was, hopefully still is.) How could I have let him come between us..? To think that I was doing this for the better. Yeah, and now I have nobody to blame but myself. I'm so sorry. I wish I could seriously rewind to like 5 days ago, when I never even asked you if you had liked me. What a stoopid question. Of course you don't like me, I'm 10 years younger than you! I feel like a complete idiot.. Ughhhhhhhh. I feel so stoopid! I'm so angry with myself. Truth is? When you told me the first time you called me your bestfriend was only a little more than a month ago? It kindof broke my heart. I mean, I know we were bestfriends quite awhile before that.. but I mean we call each other bestfriends almost everyday now and it feels like we've been bestfriends for the past 5 years. But in reality, it's been maybe 2 months? Though you're almost the equivalence to Wynnie, my bestfriend in the whole entire universe.. my sister. How is this possible? How is it that you can be almost to the same level as Wynnie, when she and I have been bestfriends for the past 8 years.. and you and I the past 8 months. I thought it was longer than that.. I guess I was wrong. I'm always wrong. I thought I was gonna feel better tonight after I talked to you. Now I just feel like a piece of my heart just got ripped out and got shitted on.
Asdfghjkl;, I'm so emotional lately. Honestly, all I want to do is crawl into a hole and just stay in there and cry. Cry until I have nothing left to cry about and no tears to come out. I'm so fed up with all this crap in my life and people who think they own me and can control me. I mean, you, you think you can just walk back into my life whenever you feel like it? No, you can't. You don't own me, I do. The people I choose to talk to is my decision. They make me happier and they treat me better than you ever can. I don't want you in my life anymore. I mean it. I don't want anybody in my life anymore. Please, everybody:
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE.
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