The One Time I Choose To Wear My Heart On My Sleeve

I can't believe that the one time I let my guard down.. you actually do this. You have no idea how I feel. I know every other time that it was me who hurt you and I'm sorry but if this is your way of trying to get back at me.. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did previous times but seriously.. ugh. I don't even know why, you didn't even give me an explanation and seriously.. I have a right to be upset. You had 3 other girls on your arm and I'm supposed to not be jealous?! What do you think I am super woman?? I have feelings.. You say that you wouldn't get jealous if that happened to you, but that's because I prevented it from happening to you. I didn't want you to ever feel that way. That's why I kept a distance with my guy friends because I know exactly how it feels to be jealous and I hate it. It's not that I don't believe that you didn't like them because I did! It's the fact that you can't see from my perspective on how that makes me feel. You don't see it the way I see it. I see 3 hot girls on the guy that I like! Really now.. and the fact that you hangout with them more in a DAY than we hangout in a week?! I know you tried to come more often and I appreciate it.. but seriously, it's pretty whack. Do you realize that it took a lot of me to let you in..? I mean ever since _______ I don't think I've let anybody in before. And now that I let you in.. and you did what you did, I remembered every reason why I didn't let anybody in to begin with. You didn't break my heart because I never let you have it, because your heart was troubled. But you did hurt me.. Though I hate to admit it, I'm not as strong as I seem. I make mistakes and I have flaws and I'm vulnerable. I hated telling you that I felt vulnerable but it was as if you were apathetic to how I felt. My feelings meant nothing to you.. Though at the time you said they did.. I don't believe you. Really, I miss you, I'm not gonna lie, but that doesn't change what you did to me. I know it's not your fault because I always vented on you and you always took it and you were there for me when I needed you and I love you for that. But this whole time it was as if I was the only one trying and I'm so sick and tired of it. You may beg to differ but honestly, you were so busy with band and hanging out with your other friends that you didn't have time for me. And then when you DO have time, I'm busy because it's my season now. Lowkey, I haven't cried over a guy in agessssss and for you to break my streak, I can honestly say I never imagined that it would be you to break my streak. I miss you though..